Big Sticks, Small Pucks: NFL Ice Hockey and Other Sports Obsessions
Where Athletic Support Comes In Many Shapes and Sizes
Ottawa Vs. The Sharks...
There is a reason that that Shark's lost 1 to 4 to the
Ottawa Senators.
"Nobody goes to Ottawa," The Scottish Geisha observed during
the game as MVP took careful notes.
"My husband is from Canada and even he won't go to Ottawa,"
MVP added, fully supporting this notion.
Surly whizzed by the boards, calmly holding a player against the boards
with one muscular arm.
"Isn't that adorable?" The Scottish Geisha said, delighted.
"How polite he is, even when correcting other players.
MVP was busy taking notes. "I think I have this penalty thing down,"
she said finally. "When the ref waves his arms and the crowd boos,
it is our penalty. When the ref waves his arms and the crowd cheers, then
the other team gets in trouble."
The Scottish Geisha laughed most delightfully. "That is all you need
to know," she said.
A giant person skated, lethally onto the ice. Right by Surly. Who he looked
down at. From a considerable height. With only passing interest. He looked
down at Parker as well.
Both the MVP and The Scottish Geisha were suddenly very quiet.
"Is it possible to be that big and fit into skates?" The Scottish
Geisha wondered aloud.
MVP was on it. "He's, good GOD, six foot NINE and 260 pounds. Oh,
this is why. He's from outer Slovakia or some such place. My people. Eastern
Europeans. You should have seen my maiden aunts, both enormous. Peasant
stock"
The Scottish Geisha glanced at MVP. "You aren't big," she pointed
out evenly.
MVP stared at her. "I wear a size ten and a half shoe," she
deadpanned.
"Oh," said The Scottish Geisha delicately. "I never knew."
They kept a watchful eye out on the giant Slavic import.
"He better leave little Surly alone," fretted The Scottish Geisha.
Surly seemed oblivious to the enormous Ottawa player although Parker,
for once, didn't seem to be in a mood to start any crap.
"Ottawa is such a dreadful place to live," MVP observed, "That
they have to import players from Eastern European countries. Living in
Ottawa is a step up from Eastern Europe apparently"
The Scottish Geisha scanned the roster. "There is actually one Ottawa
player originally from Ohio," she pointed out. "That's probably
a step up for him as well."
The gap in scoring between the two teams continued to widen.
"This is happening because they skate better than we do," MVP
explained. "Oh wait, that's because there is nothing else to actually
DO in Ottawa."
"Yes," said the Scottish Geisha, "That must be it."
The Sharks lost, 1 to 4.
“Don’t worry,” The Scottish Geisha said soothingly as
they wove their way through the throng of disappointed fans. “We
will watch Surly take on those dreadful Phoenix Coyotes next weekend.
You know, those terrible persons that surrounded him at the end of the
final game of last season and started that most awful fight?”
MVP raised a brow. “Surly started that fight as I recall,”
she remarked mildly. “And he started it right after the final game
whistle blew.”
The Scottish Geisha seemed perplexed. “Did he?” she wondered
aloud. “They must have given him a reason then.”
“Of course,” said MVP. “Of course.”
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