Big Sticks, Small Pucks: NFL Ice Hockey and Other Sports Obsessions
Where Athletic Support Comes In Many Shapes and Sizes
Banned for Life
The memo was official:
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To All (Male) TLL Staffers:
You are hence forth barred from attending any and all future Shark's Fests. - SG
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Shark's Fest would be one of those great photo/fan opts where season ticket holders get to smooze briefly with the players.
"But why?" we whined. Aside from a moderate case of Surly Envy we really had planned on being on our best behavior.
"Your best is just one step up from appalling," the Scottish Geisha informed us. She was in no mood to discuss the issue. We had tried to get a photo of Surly from the Sharks and were turned down.
"What did you Dave Barry wannabes expect?" she asked us mildly when we reported our failure. "The editorial mission of this site is humor, you know making FUN? People included? I'm frankly shocked that the nice PR folks over at the Sharks didn't just send over some bored players on summer holiday to use you all for target practice."
We were too busy sulking to confront the logic of her argument.
"Besides, readers who have asked about Surly we have already sent over to the Sharks web site (www.sjsharks.com) where they can find photos galore of Surly and the rest of the team."
"But everyone thinks we are really, really funny," we whined again.
"So you keep telling me," The Scottish Geisha remarked dryly.
OK, so we were barred from Shark's Fest, what about The Scottish Geisha? Would she attend in our stead?
"I will be in Paris," she reminded us all. "Buying nail polish for the fall season."
So, who is going for TLL?
"Maybe I will send Slither, the site's lawyer. He, at least, is smart enough not to go out of his way to annoy professional athletes."
"And don't even think about bothering Yacine. He will be in Morocco at a family wedding and you know those weddings last for a long time."
Yacine is TLL's technology advisor. The last time he went to a family wedding back in Morocco he was there long enough to watch the government change hands three times. And that was just for the bachelor party.
OK, there was just no way we were going to miss Shark's Fest or any such similar event. This called for drastic measures. We were going to have to actually....be nice to The Scottish Geisha in an attempt to get her to change her mind.
We decided to give her a belated birthday present. Something we had been saving for just such an occasion, something for a time when we really screwed up, something she would find irresistible.
Something that once was used by...none other than Surly.
Stay Tuned...
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