Hockey Blog

November 19:

Brace yourselves, the new rules for NHL hockey aren't stopping the tough boys from slugging it out anytime soon:

Fists of Fury

Fists of Fury is a bit over the top since a couple of the players seem to be having a grand time of it. Mark Anger Management Smith seems to have made the big time with his tussle with Predators' Darcy Hordichuk:

Mark Gets Creamed

But you have to really wonder about some of the league's toughest guys: Shelley, Boogaard, Henry, Iginla, Hordichuk..still missing are a few brawling notables but give them time, they will make it.

After watching thug Todd Bertuzzi against the Shark's last week, we would like to formally conclude that perhaps Mr. Bertuzzi isn't as ....contrite as he initially professed for virtually ending the career of a promising rookie and nearly paralyzing him for life. And while the rookie in question Steve Moore is still officially 'rehabbing' we are more inclined to recall the doctors comments from the press conference held at the hospital. Perhaps unused to speaking with sports journalists, the specialist on the case was clearly puzzled by the questions he fielded from the media. When asked if Moore would ever play his take was roughly: No, the man suffered a BROKEN NECK. You don't play hockey after something like that.

Being a healer in the kindest, purest sense of the word, the doctor was perchance confused by such a question. After all, the strapping young man would probably walk again some day, maybe even lead a normal life ....wasn't that the miracle everyone wanted?

And yet...Moore continues to cool his heels in the world-renowned Cleveland Clinic, rehabbing, rehabbing and still rehabbing. What Bertuzzi got was the Canadian equivalent of a suspended sentence, slap shot on the wrist so to speak, 80 hours community service and one year probation. Whoop-tee-doo. We are betting that his Canadian probation officer asks for his autograph at some point and gingerly works 'around his travel schedule'. At least the NHL made some concessions to Steve Moore's plight by reinstating Bertuzzi with the caveat that he would sit out any game that Steve Moore ever played in. Assuming, of course, that Steve Moore beats the predictions of a world renown spinal injury doctor and ever plays again. All the rookie ever did was ask that Bertuzzi not be allowed to play in any forum that he might play in again some day. At least he got that much. Moore reportedly, at one point, filed a lawsuit in Denver against Bertuzzi, Canucks head coach Marc Crawford, former Canucks forward Brad May and GM Brian Burke, and Orca Bay Sports and Entertainment, the company that owns the Canucks.

Welcome to America gents, the land where if you try and kill somebody you probably won't do jail time but you still have to pay. Hey Bertuzzi, we got a look at the 'blond' trophy you are married to. We have one word for you: expensive. She might not like that you have to shell out millions to Moore. In fact, we can all but guarantee it.

At least we hope that the tough guys in hockey will keep these kind of 'sanctions' in mind throughout the season because guys, please, don't fool yourself that those of you who are married would have gotten the women that you did without the mega-bucks that you are paid.

Oh, and if Bertuzzi actually makes the Canadian Olympic hockey team?

Shame on the entire nation of Canada and on The Great One himself, Wayne Gretzky. Bertuzzi does NOT embody the spirit of the Olympics. Don't even fool yourself that he even knows what that 'spirit' actually is.

November: A break down on how the Sharks are doing so far:

Kyle McLararen: Having a nice year really leveraging that attitude of his.
Mark Smith: Well, let's just say thank GOD there this is a world where there is hockey or that boy would have no where proper as an ....outlet.
Marcel Goc: Doing so very well, that darling boy from Germany, how proud his parents must be.
Milan Michalek: How marvelous after three knee surgeries and grueling rehab to even make the team much less see so much ice time, his time has really come, hasn't it?
Jonathan Cheechoo: Just adorable and so full of spirit, the human banner for the love of the game, his contagious excitement is really what hockey is all about.
Patrick Marleau: Steady and dependable, his shoot out work is very admirable.
Ryan Clowe: New kid on the block but doesn't take anything nonsense does he? Already a team player with a group of buys that book no prima donnas or 'super stars'. He should flourish here in San Jose.
Niko Dimitrakos: More potential than given credit for. He's fast but losing a few pounds would make him faster. He's utter calm in a storm of blades and sticks and furious on-ice activity. Don't discount that nature of his when the tough gets going. Like Goc, mature beyond his years, something you can't buy or trade or develop in the minors, you either have it or you don't.
Christian Ehrhoff: Needs more ice time to prove himself but knows the Sharks and knows his hockey. Good solid player.
Niles Ekman: Not giving a consistent performance yet. A little choppy on his blades but disciplined enough to shake it off. Give him time to relax into the season.
Jim Fahey: Sort of disappears around the glam of Surly Hannan and Rob Start Some Crap Davidson but gets the job done. Doesn't start any unnecessary crap but doesn't take any either. Needs a couple more seasons before coming into his own.
Josh Langfeld: Delighted to have him join the Sharks. Big boy, big heart, needs more bonding on the ice with teammates but reads the plays well for such a new comer to the Sharks. Good addition to the roster.
Alyn McCauley: Who knew he was that cute? Aside from his newly crowned hunk status, comes through in a pinch. Passionate about the game, expect much, much more from him.
Evgeni Nabokov: Diva, good at what he does obviously, but diva none the less.
Scott Parker: Playing better this year than ever; with more speed and finesse. Becoming more than just an enforcer. Watch for the action when he returns from the injured list.
Tom Preissing: Under rated and solid. Does he job and does it well. Not a lot gets past him when he takes his shift and that's saying something.
Wayne Primeau: Needs to do more. Certainly capable.
Brad Stuart: Talk about your happy surprises, this young defenseman is making a name for himself by scoring of all things. Like Cheechoo, shows his love of the game and is thrilled when he helps out on offense when scoring. You have to love that grin.
Marco Sturm: Doing better than probably any other winger, after his horrific injury of last playing season, Sturm shows his maturity, depth and judgment on every shift. And he's earned every minute of ice time.
Scott Thornton: Reference Primeau, also capable of more.
Vesa Toskala: Adorable. Needs more ice time or gets stale. Needs more, "I just play hockey moments' like Nolan Schaffer has had recently. Get better quick Scrappy, we need you.
Special Mention to Rookie Nolan Schaffer: Hold the line, take a deep breath, you are doing just fine. Your teammates will back you and cover you and protect you. They will be there for you in every way. Hold the line, take it one puck at a time. Take it from Toskala who came up in pretty much the same 'get on a plane tonight' manner. Focus, focus and when you are done, focus yet again. Don't over analyze every play. Don't agonize. Just play. Just....play.
Rob (Heart of a Staffie) Davidson: Dear, dear...cranky aren't we? What's with the penalty points? And the taking on players twice your size? Behave yourself, no more stupid time outs. You are better than you know. Let Parker deal with the big guns and pay attention.
Scott (Surly) Hannan: Like fine wine, keeps just getting better and better. Absolutely sticking to opposing team players with the puck like super glue while maintaining that fabulous ...stamina of his. No wonder he continues to see more ice time than any other player. Last guy off the ice at the end of the 3rd period and the first guy back on in OT. Growing up and into his role as a team leader very nicely.....(sob) our baby is growing up!!!

October: Request to the Shark's Defensemen, Rob (Start Some Crap) Davidson: Stop giving your mother a heart attack. If we weren't sure before, we are now; Davidson is the kid who got sent home from Kindergarten at age five for beating up 12 year olds. Case in point, the much smaller Davidson taking on Center six foot seven inch, 250 pound Derek Boogaard from the Minnesota Wild Cats the other night.

Rob, what WERE you thinking?

It is not as if we don't appreciate a good slugfest, especially with all the new play pretty equiette rules in hockey but for God's sake, pick on somebody at least NEAR your own size.

And speaking of size, Rob, please come down to the TLL offices and PROVE you are six foot three and 225 pounds like the stats on the Shark's web site claim you are. We'll buy you lunch for a month if you are even a shadow over six feet tall and the Scottish Geisha would never allow us to weigh you so you can pretend you are as chunky as you please.

You aren't, however. We watch you all the time, dear defensemen who leads the Sharks in penalty points (no that stat doesn't belong to the relatively mellow Scott Parker, well mellow off the ice that is), it's Rob (Start Some Crap) Davidson. Rob, you remind us of Virgina Bob's Staffordshire Terrier ('Staffie') Shea. Barely a medium sized dog who courageously terrorizes much bigger dogs and every woodland creature within a backyard radius with a devotion approaching puppy fantaism. Rob, are you listening? You are giving your mother the vapors. She probably put you in hockey at the tender age of two and a half because it was the only place you could get in a fight and not instantly get suspended from baby pre-pre-school. Where you slugging it out even in the playpen? We bet you were.

For those of you who didn't catch the game (and it was a blood bath in many other ways not worth rehashing here), the fight ensued and Boogaard held poor Davidson at considerable arm's length while he whomped him to pieces. Poor Rob, he just kept flailing away, totally oblivious to the fact that he was getting creamed. When the duo finally hit the ice (and ice is what Rob is going to need plenty of for all those contusions), and were separated by the sputtering refs it was Rob who jumped right up, helmet-less, fiesty and bouncing all over the rink,as if to say, "Ha. I sure showed HIM." All the way to the penalty box the camera also followed a visabily mystified Bogart who was shaking his head, clearly perplexed as if to say, "I don't know WHAT that kid was thinking ref, honest."

We do. Rob (newly re-crowned: heart of a Staffie) Davidson was thinking he could actually take Bogart. No, really he was. He also thinks he's six foot three and 225 pounds. That's ok, Rob, Shea the Staffie also thinks she is big enough to level a 200-pound monster dog from down the street. And she tries on a regular basis (only to be greeted by the ever mellow Newfoundland named Beauregard (close enough in names to really make us snicker) who generally responds by yawning in her barking face and generally infuriating her. If we watch Shea's antics long enough we just might better understand what it is that drives you.

So until we figure this one out, please exercise some caution. After all, your mother is probably watching.

August 28, 2005....And so it is to begin. Again. Amist all the trades and tragedies, the 2005-60 hockey season is about to commence. Never mind the irate fans, who clearly have not forgiven wicked, evil management (and players) for holding out an entire year. Franchises CLAIM that sales are healthy but if the constant barrage of sales calls, emails and letters are any indication, the season ticket holders aren't ALL back in force, else why would the sales guys have so much time to track us down? Wouldn't they be, well, overwhelmed with you know, work? But we digress. The season is nearly upon us and the Sharks for one, seem to have their business in order. Everyone is signed, sharpening their blades and seemingly eager to get back on the ice. Camp is coming up in a few weeks and we will be giving you a sneak peak at how veterans and rookies alike fare. After all, not every Shark team member took off last season to play for some third world non-name team to keep in shape and pay the bills. Some just stuck around home and...hung out. It will be interesting to see who comes out of the Shark's mouth raring to score. Some initial predictions:

Scott Parker: Will drop the gloves during the very first pre-season opener.

Scott Hannan: Will start out a bit slow (wave boarding for entire year will do that to a guy) but after a few weeks a pre-Olympic camp in Canada, should have his ice legs back.

Evgeni Nabokov: Will be so grateful to be off of the frozen tundra that is his native Russia, he might even be respectful when the American National Anthem is sung. Maybe.

Jonathan Cheechoo: After a year playing somewhere in the wilds of Europe, will be glad to be back in Shark's territory. Should come out hard, fresh and fast.

Marco Sturm: Got a bum deal because of a horrific injury and never got to experience the play-offs with the Sharks but has PT-d to the nth degree and should be fully rehabilitated. One to watch, he has a lot to prove.

Kyle McLaren: Big guy on the block, we would like to see him sharing more of the scraping with Parker however his basic nature isn't that confrontational. Let's wait and see how a year off the ice has tempered him.

Vesa Toskala: Hoping to see MORE ice time for this fantastic Fin of a goal tender. Definitely under utilized last season he sat the bench far too often when Nabby should have been pulled for various reasons. Heaven forbid the temperamental Russian get his pads in a twist now and again. We think the increased competition would be good for him. VERY good.

Marcel Goc: This kid came up from the minors to play astounding hockey during the playoffs. He even scored, his first professional score, at the playoffs. So, a LOT of pressure on this still-green kid to dazzle. We think he is going to need time to settle in, become one of the team and pay some week in, week out dues on the ice. We have very high expectations for him, we just hope to see him properly coached and groomed so he is set up to succeed.