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Felicia, formerly of General Hospital, and to all characters like her, we have some advice for your: Get a job.

Felicia Jones, vapid, beyond blond character with as much moral fiber as sawdust, please, get a god damn job. Please. And every other character on daytime who runs around in designer togs, seems to have no end of money, doesn't work and generally spends way too much air time setting an unrealistic example for the female viewing audience.

For the most part, women have made great, we mean great strides in how they are portrayed in daytime dramas. They all dress beautifully, never seem to be at the office, emote endlessly over Tortured and Doomed Relationships and are typically (except for the extremely Good or VERY Bad Girls) Terrible Mothers. Oh, and none of them can cook for some reason. Somehow, being adept in the culinary arts is WRONG in the world of daytime drama. We have yet to figure that one out. Doesn't every woman want this kind of life? Isn't this just the kind of lifestyle today's modern woman should aspire to? We thought you might feel that way too.

This is why Felicia needs a job. And no, Cosmetic Mogul, Saintly/Slimy Journalist, Heart Surgeon, Mystic Slayer, Hottest Restaurant Spot Owner In Town or Budding Private Eye do NOT count. We want to see the likes of Felicia in a grueling 7:30 a.m. to well past 6 p.m. job, stuck with an endlessly abusive boss who nit picks her already marginal work to death. No coffee breaks, no lingering lunches with girl chums to discuss their endlessly hopeless love lives, hell Felicia won’t even get a break to touch up her make up or pee without somehow getting chewed out for it….just grind, grind, grind in financial desperation that means she has to keep a minimal paycheck to support her miserable kids who, behind her exhausted and clueless back, are on drugs and boinking every boy in school.

This would make Felicia, a perfectly detestable personality with no discernable positive character traits, a heroine among women.

Look, viewers would think: Look! While Monica is carving up hearts and chewing up scenes with her cheating spouse Alan; while neurotic and anorexic Carly is locking horns with Sonny and everyone else who crosses her path; while Alexis hides her daughter’s paternity from Sonny between landmark legal briefs and donning male boxers….Felicia will be chained to her desk, miserably reworking some inane budget spread sheets just because her boss wants her to. Not because it will move the plot along, not because it will help her win some fake-only-in-the-land-of-daytime-drama literary award, not because her boss wants to throw her down on the desk and do her (the boss hates blonds, his ex was blond, the boss is taking his sexual failings out on all women who work for him but that could be any executive in America so it hardly needs explaining in the plot)…she is doing these spread sheets because her boss simply is moderately hung over, got dumped by some Asian size two bimbo at a local bar last night and therefore wants to make her life a living hell. Felicia would be a heroine to women all over America. Felicia would rule, Felicia would become Every Woman’s Model Day Time Woman to Admire.

Felicia, for Christ’s sake, get a job.