The Flaming Eye of Mordor
A New Look At A Now Familiar Image.....
Most of the time, the eye of Mordor just looks likes a sore eye in need of Visine. In the Fellowship of the Ring however, when Frodo sees it in a vertical position, the dreaded eye of Mordor looks like a vaginal opening with a really severe, out of control yeast infection. The kind of yeast infection that one dose Monostat won't even touch, let alone cure. I mean that is one angry yeast infection. This is a vagina and yeast infection that is capable of consuming Texas, and come to think of it, Middle Earth.
Just think of the feminine hygiene product ad to hype curing this problem. Ladies, do you have a yeast infection that looks like the eye of Mordor? Girlfriend, you have big problems. That one doseMonostat and that little tube of anti itch cream won't make a gnat's ass worth of difference, let alone cure it. What you are going to need is about 10,000 industrial Costco vat size containers of Monostat cream and a really large sterilized toilet plunger. Fill the toilet plunger with the cream and insert into the opening 2 times daily for the rest of your life. Be sure to check with your doctor if you do not notice results after the first age.
This too might explain why Mordor is such an unpleasant area. The female Orcs having inherited the yeast infection from the large, yeast vagina, refuse to have sex with the male Orcs. Orc men, just like male anywhere, get cranky, thus explaining the desire for killing and destruction.
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