When Surly Met....Billy?
Some Obsessions Are Less Harmful Than Others....My Precious
“Did you know,” she mused, “We get a lot of hits from postings on that Scottish actor’s site?”
The Scottish Geisha considered this data point with moderate interest only. “Scottish? Actor?”
“You know, the one you can never understand from LOTR,” she said testily. “The cute one, the funny one?”
The Scottish Geisha shrugged gracefully. “Fans most likely consider them all funny and cute,” she pointed out.
They browsed Billy Boyd’s web site .
“Oh, look, lovely. The site is in English,” The Scottish Geisha observed, faintly amused.
“Very funny,” MVP said sarcastically. “Read some of the conversation threads,” she urged.
There was an expectant silence. And then a cry of anguish.
“Did you read this?” The Scottish Geisha demanded, clearly appalled.
Whatever could it be? We all logged on hurriedly.
“Look, some, some….person refers to our Surly as just ‘some’ hockey player!” she exclaimed, clearly In Distress.
“Perhaps fans of LOTR don’t know Surly the way we do,” MVP said soothingly.
The Scottish Geisha was in no mood to be mollified. “Honestly, some people,” she sniffed. “Some hockey player? Surly? Honestly.”
“Golf is really much more popular in Scotland,” MVP tried. “Maybe they just don’t, well, follow hockey the way we do here.”
The Scottish Geisha pondered the enormity of Scotland’s collective crime. “Is that possible?” she questioned. “That they have no clue about hockey? About Surly?”
MVP nodded gravely. “Really, people who go to these kind of web sites are…Ringers, you know, hard core LOTR fans. I fear that hockey might well be a….secondary consideration to them.”
The Scottish Geisha tilted her head. “Truly?”
MVP nodded vigorously “Truly.”
The Scottish Geisha sighed dramatically. “I can understand the movies, Tolkien’s body of work but…actors? Goodness ....entertainers? Whatever are these people thinking?”
MVP forced back a laugh. “Some people actually, you know, like actors,” she pointed out.
“Like the people who go to this actor’s site?”
“Yes, like them.”
“Oh,” said The Scottish Geisha, “I see.”
Though clearly, she did not.
“This actor fellow. The Scottish one,” The Scottish Geisha said. “He concerns me.”
“How so?”
“Read the site, the threads in those chat rooms,” The Scottish Geisha insisted. “These people are…obsessed. Truly. Poor fellow, I wonder how he handles all of this….adoration,” she said. “Most people cannot, you know,” she added. “Manage that kind of fixation.”
MVP was pragmatic. “That’s part of his job, being in the public eye. Look at Surly, he gets a lot of….fixation.”
The Scottish Geisha waved off the comparison. “Nonsense, Surly manages fixation in healthy ways.”
Like taking four girls on one date?
The Scottish Geisha narrowed her eyes in warning. “Surly, if that rumor is true, was just being….Surly. After all, he’s a healthy boy with lots of…energy.”
“Be that as it may, you should probably, with all the traveling that you do, meet up with this Scottish actor fellow some time, interview him for our site,” MVP suggested. “Knowing the effect you seem to have on Scottish men in general, the outcome could only be…how would one put it? Interesting…”
The Scottish Geisha continued to reflect upon Billy Boyd’s web site. “He’s north of 30 if you judge by his photos,” she observed. “But honestly, I have no idea what he is saying most of the time. Even in the interview segments in the extended version of the DVD.”
“When it comes to you,” MVP declared, “that might well play to his advantage.”
The Scottish Geisha switched to the Shark’s site. “My first question might well be to ask if they have anti-stalking laws in Scotland the way we do here in California,” she remarked noncommittally. “However, he would have to agree to go to a hockey game before I would consider it.”
“I am sure he’d be charmed,” MVP said dryly as she scanned the Shark’s 2003-2004 schedule. “Oooh! I want all the New York Ranger games!”
“Certainly,” The Scottish Geisha agreed smoothly. “But you have to take an actor with you.”
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