LOTR Takes The Stage?
Some Obsessions Are Less Harmful Than Others....My Precious
I just could not believe my eyes when I first heard the news. At first I thought I had stumbled on to a new LOTR parody or rumor, but then I realized that this was an honest to God piece of news. I almost choked on my lembas. On the other hand, I was rather relieved to find out that the play is to be staged in London by the Brits. America just doesn't need another cultural black mark against it right now. Being the country to make J. R. R. Tolkien do back flips in his grave is not going to win anybody brownie points. I mean, this goes way beyond making Tolkien just roll over once or twice in his grave. Please people, the trilogy...a musical?
The LOTR Musical is set to open in 2005 on one of the stages in London's West end. It will cost, according to the producer Kevin Wallace, 8 million pounds. The news I read gushed that the, "budget is 1.5 million pounds more than Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang" which apparently holds the record for London's most expensive play. I don't even want to try to compare the depth and literary style of LOTR to Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang. Is that a whole lot like comparing Dr. Seuss to War and Peace? It just seems to me that someone in London just isn't getting the whole picture. Peter Jackson actually understood the Tolkien trilogy, he painstaking took care to focus on minute details; hired only the best of the best for mastering every aspect of the films. To drive the point home, take the notion of scenery. Peter Jackson and his team had the whole of New Zealand and we all know that a stage is a just a stage. Ok a helicopter does land in the musical Miss Saigon and a chandelier crashes to the stage in Phantom of the Opera. Dishes dance in Beauty and the Beast and a Giant Pinball Game explodes in Tommy. All that being said, I still harbor major misgivings that 8 million pounds can make really outstanding visual effects for Nazgul, The Mines of Moria, blizzards, not to mention nine very large and galloping steeds. Let's not even discuss the logistics of dressing up small children as hobbits and goblins.
Lest we forget, this is a musical and a musical means that there will be singing. Was there any part in the movie or the book that you, as a Ringer, thought "Gee, this would be a great place for a song. Maybe something perky to lift everyone's spirits right about now?" I didn't so. I seriously have trouble seeing Gandalf burst into song as he falls into a flaming pit with the Balrog.
All this being said, I realize there will be legions of you Ringers out there who are probably be delighted with the idea of LOTR being turned into a musical. But these Ringers seem to be fans who crave anything LOTR, quantity over quality. They will be impressed simply because LOTR musical producer Mr. Wallace has been quoted saying, "To do justice to the Lord of the Rings, you have to pull out all the stops."
Perhaps someone needs to tell him that it's already been done.
Note from TLL staffers: We would like to thank Mr. Wallace for giving us such an excellent idea. Our version of the LOTR musical will be coming to you soon. Meanwhile, we invite readers to weigh in on the subject: Contact Us . Let us know what you think of LOTR being made into a musical.
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