The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 11, Installment 670: Three Puppy Strikes and You're Out
All New Installment! April 21st, 2004
The Scottish Geisha wasn't telling us us much.
"Pitney and Shea need a woman's guidance" she was saying.
"They simply aren't getting that, what with the single puppy father
living arrangement they have right now," she added.
She wasn't telling us how she seemed to know this first hand.
"They are such sweet girls," she was going on, "But Virginia
Bob just doesn't have a strong handle on discipline."
She went on to explain that Virginia Bob's 'girls', fearsome Pitney and
Shea, were such terrors of his neighborhood in Poquoson, VA, that even
the painter who lived down the street wouldn't come on the property until
they were safely locked up.
"Such nonsense," The Scottish Geisha scoffed. "If only
he would instill some consequences for their, these sort of unpleasant
events wouldn't continue to occur."
We were wondering what she meant by 'unpleasant events'.
The Scottish Geisha sighed dramatically. "Oh nothing earth shattering.
Children seem to be incapable of relating to them and adults run screaming
in the opposite direction," she said dismissively. "I think
it may have something to do with Shea taking the fence every day and...well,
sorting out any nonsense in the neighborhood."
Nonsense?
"Please recall that Shea is still a puppy, almost a baby, really.
She really doesn't know right from wrong yet," The Scottish Geisha
said quickly.
Right from wrong?
"I think," The Scottish Geisha said quietly, "That she
ate somebody's bumper, off his car I mean."
The dog ate a bumper? Like, a metal one?
The Scottish Geisha frowned. "It isn't as bad as it sounds. At least
she didn't get through the upholstery and to the driver, I mean."
We called Virginia Bob to confirm.
"Y'all have'ta calm down," he said in his typical Southern drawl.
"I spoke with her vet and he assures me she will be jist fine."
The vehicle, however, is another matter.
"Besides, little Shea assures me that it all tastes like chicken,"
Virginia Bob added with a chuckle.
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