The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 8, Installment 53: MVP Takes Center Ice
All New Installment! April 29th, 2004
“You people will be very, very nice today,”
The Scottish Geisha instructed us just this morning.
We kept our thoughts to ourselves on this one. After all, we always
thought we were some flavor of nice.
“MVP is having a terrible time with these play-offs and you will
do nothing to make it worse,” she warned.
How MVP's troubles with the NHL Stanley Cup Play-Offs were our collective
problem was beyond us. But we wisely kept this opinion to ourselves.
"Ever since she adopted that sweet boy Cheechoo as her player she
has been ever so more involved," The Scottish Geisha went on. "She
worries about him all the time and now that we are so far along in the
play-offs, she is just a wreak. Understandably so."
We really didn't know how to respond to this. After all, play-offs were
supposed to be a good thing, right?
"How obtuse can you be?" The Scottish Geisha asked plaintively."I
myself have had to focus all my emotional reserves to endure this trial.
Poor little Surly, all those horrible players from other teams going
after him."
The focus had clearly shifted from hating The Detroit Red Wings winger
Shanahan to players on the Colorado Avalanche team. Mostly, the line
of Forsberg, Tanguay and Hejduk which The Scottish Geisha referred to
often as "Orcs From Mordor".
"They are just dreadful," she was saying "The way they
play, its so...unsportsmanlike. And their goalie is really
bad , he takes swipes at our players skating by the crease for no reason
whatsoever."
We honestly didn't think hockey players needed a reason to take a swing
at somebody but the Scottish Geisha felt strongly otherwise.
"That is patently untrue," she protested. "Nabokov, our
goalie, only initiates a warning swing when absolutely necessary and
then there is our adorable little Surly. Why, he's defense and still,
he doesn't get too rough for no reason."
Since we had all witnessed Scott Hannan's (AKA Surly) game butch up
quite a bit since the play-offs we made no comment. In fact, watching
Hannan take on players much larger than himself (and Surly is not small
by any means) on the boards these days was nothing pretty to watch.
Hannan, like Cheechoo, we had to admit, had really come into his own
during these play-offs.
"It's about time you people wised up about Surly," The Scottish
Geisha remarked, mildly amused for once. "Now then, what are you
all going to do for MVP? The play-offs have frazzled her nerves as I
said and you all really need to make this better...."
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