The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 69 Installment 99: Perfect Thighs
The editorial team that works on The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha column has been enjoying the relative calm while The Scottish Geisha is off breaking hearts and wreaking havoc in far off places. To amuse ourselves, we have taken to answering the phones and emotionally torturing the men who call, vainly seeking information as to The Scottish Geisha's whereabouts.
"She didn't call you? She didn't tell you?" we said with mock sympathy to the poor besotted males on the other end.
After a few days this got old so we started coming up with outrageous tales, just to see how long we could keep the idiots on the hook.
"She's in Vegas with some blond 25 year old hockey player," we said in hushed tones. After Demi Moore's recent behavior, we didn't think that one was too far off.
"What are you morons doing?" shrieked the MVP when she over heard us.
"Hey, she really likes Surly's thighs," we pointed out lamely. "She says he has the thighs of a GOD," we added, clearly jealous.
"Be that as it may," MVP fumed, "The Scottish Geisha will have your hides for this. You didn't actually tell anyone she was off with some young hockey player, did you?"
Of course not. Not exactly. Except for the heart surgeon who kept calling. He was totally bugging us. A lot. He asked if it was Surly. We told him we didn't think it was nice to tell tales out of school. He hung up sobbing.
It was a good day.
"When The Scottish Geisha finds out what you have done, there will be hell to pay," MVP warned.
Perhaps so, but at least that obnoxious software CEO has stopped calling.
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