The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 18, Installment 39: Raymond is a Di-khead
Everyone was busy keeping secrets from The Scottish Geisha.
After an editorial dinner meeting at a local watering hole, and while
The Scottish Geisha was busy taking some cell phone call from God knows
where and from which potential suitor, the rest of the team was delighted
to watch some nubile young woman slip Central Cal her phone number.
"This here is gonna be fun," Virginia Bob declared as he immediately
began 'managing' the situation.
Meanwhile, Virginia Bob had actually done little to ingratiate himself
with The Scottish Geisha. First, he had code-named every would-be suitor
of hers, "Raymond" so that every time The Scottish Geisha's
phone rang, he would announce to the rest of us, "Raymond is on the
phone!"
It took The Scottish Geisha some time to figure out something was amiss.
"Whomever in the world is this Raymond person?" she wondered
aloud as she riffled through phone messages that had suddenly stopped
including key phone numbers and real names.
While The Scottish Geisha tried to sort this out, Virginia Bob told us
the story of taking Central Cal shopping for essentials. Essentials meaning
protection, as in condoms.
"The boy needs ta be prepared," he explained, not adverse to
asking a flustered clerk and mother of three which brands she would recommend.
The Scottish Geisha was reportedly at the other end of the store while
this incident unfolded. "We told the clerk that his mother was at
the other end of the store and she would insist on buying her son the
very best," Virginia Bob chuckled.
They told a clerk that The Scottish Geisha was Central Cal's mother? And
she wanted him to have top-of-the-line condoms? We were uncertain which
of these maneuvers would prove the more lethal. In the meantime, the story
only got better and better. Virginia Bob then explained that Central Cal
went up to The Scottish Geisha, in full view of a crowded store full of
now curious patrons, and asked to borrow money.
"All everyone saw was CC getting money from his 'mom' for condoms,"
Virginia Bob reported happily, still blissfully unaware of his peril.
We hastily advised him not to share this hilarious prank with The Scottish
Geisha who, while charming at all times, was not alwyas known for her
sense of humor.
"Please cease and desist taking messages for me," The Scottish
Geisha instructed briskly as she walked by Virginia Bob a few moments
later.
For once, Virginia Bob did not take the bait.
"She really doesn't need ta be talking to those high strung executive
types like Raymond," Virginia Bob explained after the coast was clear.
"So, I told ta last 'Raymond' that called that she was otherwise
preoccupied," he added and took off, presumably to cajole The Scottish
Geisha out of her ever darkening mood.
We wondered aloud how some 'high strung executive type' aka, 'Raymond'
reacted to Virginia Bob's territorial maneuver.
"Virginia Bob said that Raymond was a di-khead," Central Cal
reported.
Minutes later, The Scottish Geisha was back, brandishing a fresh stack
of phone messages.
"Could somebody please tell me who this Raymond person is?"
The Scottish Geisha asked yet again.
"Raymond is a di-khead," Central Cal repeated helpfully.
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