The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 12, Installment 196: Single Puppy Parenthood
All New Installment! March 24th, 2004
The Scottish Geisha was on the phone with Virginia Bob.
Copyright© 2003. All rights reserved.
"Clearly, you need to be a better single parent," she was saying.
"If they are such good Southern girls then why do they have police
records?" she asked into the receiver.
She immediately had our collective attention.
"I think it is appalling," The Scottish Geisha said as she hung
up, "That some escape trouble with the law because they have relatives
are in local law enforcement."
We didn't even bother to pretend we weren't eavesdropping.
"How are they going to learn?" she asked appealingly, assuming
we knew more than we did.
"They are only going to graduate to worse crimes if they are not
held accountable," she added.
We timidly ventured an opinion that we didn't even realize Virginia Bob
had children, much less children that were future or current felons.
"Don't even joke," The Scottish Geisha admonished. "This
is serious. His girls could be put in the pound or worse."
The pound. Ah, of course. She was speaking of his dogs, the fearsome Pitney
and Shea, canine terrors of Poquoson, VA and beyond. We knew that. Really.
We did.
"What you all fail to understand is that they are truly misunderstood
dears. They just need more guidance is all."
Yes, of course, that must be it. We had heard tell of the misadventures
of Pitney and Shea. Terrorized meter readers held at bay for hours, neighbors
chased back into their own homes, missing children, no wait, no missing
children but you get the idea anyway.
"There was just a tiny incident at the local pet store," The
Scottish Geisha was saying. "The whole thing has been blow way out
of proportion, naturally, but I still think his girls could benefit from
more discipline."
We nervously agreed, though at a safe distance of three thousand miles
plus change, we wondered how this all might directly impact us.
"Don't be obtuse if you can help it," The Scottish Geisha said.
"Who do you think I've volunteered to help puppy sit in the coming
weeks?"