The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 77, Installment 1943: Spring Fever
All New Installment! April 27th, 2004
The Scottish Geisha had a serious bout of Spring Fever.
"I am so pleased that pastels are back in vogue," she remarked
while flipping through a pile of expensive, glossy fashion rags..
We were under deadline so we didn't have time to check out the latest
hemlines.
"This is because you all don't plan properly," she remarked
idly. "I finished my work hours ago."
How she managed to do that and make an extensive list of 'must-have' spring
accessories was beyond us.
The phone rang and she took it in her private office.
"Life is funny," she mused, as she hung up the phone.
"That," she announced with classic drama, "Was about Evil
Dennis."
"Evil Dennis?"
"An old...aquaintance," she replied vaguely.
We see...or rather, we didn't. Not at all.
"I am so saddened to hear about people's troubles," she sighed.
We doubted that mightily. But again, as was always with The Scottish Geisha,
we weren't sure precisely who or what she was referring to.
"You people need to learn to keep up," she admonished. "Poor
Virginia Bob's adorable puppies are in some sort of trouble. Well, perhaps
trouble is too strong a word," she said, waving her finely boned
wrist around to show off her finely encrusted diamond bracelet to its
best advantage.
We wondered what less than trouble they had gotten themselves into.
"Oh nothing dramatic," she remarked distinctively." At
least it was a house guest and everyone who knows Russell knows he won't
press charges."
That sounded ominous.
"Really," she nearly fumed at us. "You people need to calm
down. After all, Virginia Bob is in the fire department. That means he
is trained for all sorts of medical emergencies."
Medical emergencies?
"I really don't see what the big deal was, after all, Virginia Bob
managed to halt the bleeding long before the surgeon stitched Russel up.
It was no more than a scratch really," she was saying.
Horrified by the thought of Pitney and Shea chewing up even a portion
of Virginia Bob's house guest, much less the notion that the wound required
stitches and the services of a surgeon, we tried to go back to the notion
of Evil Dennis, who, The Scottish Geisha reported, was en route to The
Carpathian Mountains.
"I think he must have friends there," she said airily.
Who? Vampires? Werewolves? Paris Hilton's nicer sister? We were roaring
with laughter by this time.
She narrowed her electric green eyes, clearly not amused. "You are
all trying to get me to make jokes about Transylvania and Evil Dennis.
How predictable. Just because he was such a lethal executive force in
high tech doesn't mean that he's well, one of the undead. Honestly, you
people need to hold yourselves to a higher standard of humor."
Perhaps, but we thought the notion of somebody nicknamed Evil Dennis trotting
off to Dracula-land pretty darn amusing.
"That is because you lack any trace of sophistication," she
announced.
This was true, of course, but it didn't stop us from wondering, just what
does bring back from Drac-land? Crosses? Wreathes of garlic?
The Scottish Geisha wasn't having any of this, nor was she giving us any
dirt.
"Don't be so clueless if you can help it," she said rolling
her eyes heavenward. "Everybody knows gothic accessories are so passe,"
she snapped. "And, besides, aren't you people supposed to be under
deadline?"
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