The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 4, Installment 11: Surly The Ice Hobbit, Part Duex
Chapter 4, Installment 11: Surly The Ice Hobbit, Part Duex
The Scottish Geisha rung up her MVP (Most Valuable Person/Friend).
“I am,” she announced, “Quite distraught.”
The Scottish Geisha went on to explain that she had been compelled to request the Shark’s sales team contact her to better explain the slightly elusive and mysterious system for upgrading season tickets and seats. An innocent enough endeavor all things considered. During the conversation, which The Scottish Geisha found quite pleasant as the salesman shared her opinion of the New Jersey Devils, she let it slip that one of the players (Number 22, Hannan) strongly resembled an actor, who was currently featured in a very popular movie series, aka, The Lord of The Rings.
“I had no idea,” The Scottish Geisha intoned, “That the Sharks’ salesman would be personally aquatinted with Surly.”
Oh my.
“I fear,” The Scottish Geisha continued, “That anyone on the Shark's staff discovering the close physical resemblance between the two could result in the massive emotional upheaval of young Surly.”
Yes, The Scottish Geisha was as close to anguish (next to breaking a nail) as is possible.
“Consider the endless and most dire possibilities,” she insisted. “When he returns from summer holiday, the other players may well make fun of him. They might tease him or, God forbid, put furry little fake Hobbity feet in his locker. The thought distresses me to no end.”
“Men,” The Scottish Geisha sighed, “Are really horrid creatures at heart.”
Knowing The Scottish Geisha as we do, we knew she couldn't let this one go. So, what if the other players teased Surly? He might not play as well in the coming season? He might miss a crucial play? He might trip and damage something….valuable? Fueling The Scottish Geisha’s already fertile imagination was absolutely irresistible.
“If Surly The Ice Hobbit plays badly because of this,” The Scottish Geisha declared, “I shall have extreme difficulty in forgiving myself.”
Oh the other hand, as calmer staffers were inclined to point out, Number 22 is young, sturdy and….judging from last season's increase in ice time and playing….resilient. Yes, number 22, despite his youth and somewhat amusing resemblance to a gentle little Hobbit, appears to quite sturdy.
Many, including the MVP, contributed other, more positive scenarios. What if those dreadful New Jersey Devils dared to tease Surly? What then?
The Scottish Geisha pondered this notion briefly.
“Surly can take care of himself on the ice,” she declared. "I would be more concerned about those awful Devils if that happened."
After that, The Scottish Geisha seemed to be considerably cheered. “I could,” she mused, “be indirectly responsible for some absolutely marvelous moments come the 2003-2004 hockey season. How lovely.”
Yes, we think so too.
“But then,” the MVP countered, “What of the actor, Dominic Monahan? How will this affect him should somebody let the dear boy know of this (much taller, bigger) near twin?
The Scottish Geisha dismissed the non-issue with a wave of her finely manicured hand.
“How awful could it be?” she countered. “To be aligned with such a strapping specimen of athletic type, Surlyhood?”
The Scottish Geisha had a final notion. “Besides, how could any man, actor or otherwise,” she persisted, “not aspire to be compared with Surly?”
As usual, The Scottish Geisha probably had a point.
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