The Continuing Adventures of The Scottish Geisha
Chapter 96 Installment 9: Passable French
All New Installment! Aug. 12th, 2003
Editor's Note: We keep trying to figure out what happened while The Scottish Geisha was on holiday in Bali. Her phone rings off the hook and more than occasionally, she declines to answer it. That could only mean one thing: a really juicy scandal lurking underneath the sand and serf.
“Who’s the guy?” we ask in what we are convinced is a really we don’t care casual tone when four dozen roses are delivered. Again.
The Scottish Geisha has stopped bothering to reply. “You owe me an article,” she will say without even looking up. Or, “Aren’t you under deadline like the rest of us?”
When she really wants to annoy us, she answers her cell phone and immediately switches to another language, usually French.
We all immediately vow to all take up French especially since everything she says sounds vaguely pornographic. At least in French.
”I speak passable French,” the MVP remarked innocently during a walk by. “What is it you need to know how to say?”
We innocently explain all about The Scottish Geisha’s unbearable habit of conducting mysterious personal conversations in languages that we cannot understand and then have to listen to the MVP’s mocking laughter all the way down the hall. She knows, we are convinced, but we will find no cooperation from that camp.
Something really racy was going on, we were certain.
Still, we had no hope of actually finding out what was really going on until somebody walked into the offices.
A guy. No, really, a man. Head to toe in Armani, a sleek silver fox. Impeccably groomed. Sophisticated. Reeking of culture. In other words, someone completely opposite of the Thelastlaugh’s male staff. The kind of (straight) guy who could show the queer guys starring on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy a thing or two about style.
“Can we help you?” we asked, shamelessly eager to pump him for dirt.
“Pardonez moi?” he said, flawless manners intact.
He spoke no English.
This, we decided, was going to be fun.
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