Editor: New Letters! New Pleas! New...Did You People Know We Aren't Part of the TV SHOW?????

Q. I would really like to enter my moth in-law on the show What Not To Wear she has no sence in fashion what so ever and she really has to do something about it so please help me more her though. Bob
A. Dear Bob, Aside from teaching you how to use a spellchecker we really do want to emphasis that we are not part of the show. You need to go to: WhatNottoWear which is on TLC cable which is owned by The Discovery Channel blah, blah, blah....
Q. 43y old college fresh, needs help badly - my wardrobe sucks! Rose
A. Dear Rose, We hope they teach you grammer and sentence structure in college. Meanwhile, try this link: WhatNottoWear. Sigh....
Q. I have seen your show for sometime and am tired of some skinny want to be model which will never be, and some gay man that thinks they know fashion, to publicly embarass people that they think in there small enclosed minds that there idea of so called fashion is a joke ,these people work and they raise families and I know they may want to feel better about themselves but this sorry excuse for a show is nothing but sorry for the pun it is showing there inadequies for there short comings , there is nothing worst than a insecure being giving advice to a person that has a center, I hope in the future you have the intelligence to quit showing a person short comings to exploit ratings, because if you dont your as shallow as your would be but so called auduience.In short your host are sad and pathetic excuses for fashion statements. Jill
A. Dear Jill, Can we say 'anger management classes'? Or at least run on sentences? Wow. OK, we get that you are upset with these guys. Really. We do. We might even agree with you on some level but hey, life is too short for this kind of rage. Relax. Have a latte. Work on your puntuation and please, try WhatNottoWear for your poison pen. We already get a lot of that around here and for stuff we actually do.
Q. hi! my name is Anna and i\'m 17 and I love the tv show \"what not to wear\" I just wonder why can it be also a show for teens like me also name \"what not to wear\" because i think i could use some help.....bye
A. Dear Anna, Well at least you have youth as an excuse. We think a teen version of the show is a great idea. Try suggesting it to the people who might have some power to make it happen however WhatNottoWear. And we bet you look just fine.
Q. My friend just had gastric By-pass surgery and had to wear large frumpy clothes for so many years she has\'nt the foggist notion how to dress, do her hair, make-up etc. She has lost 100 lbs. as of yet, and her confidence level is rising. I as her best friend would love for her to have the guidance your T.V. program offers. Thanks In Advance, Tina, Lompoc, Calif.
A. Well Tina of Lompoc, Calif, they say Californians are soooooo self-absorbed. And you have proven them all wrong. How nice that you nominated your newly swelvt friend. Now, please, go and do it again .Properly this time. WhatNottoWear
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Answers to Your Most Pressing Fashion Needs!
Q. Hi, What happened to the long haired guy who was the host? We really liked him. Michael.
A. At TheLastLaugh.net, we normally don't keep track of every gay man that gets canned from a cable television show. However, last we heard, the co-host in question was living in Brazil with a nubile young towel boy named Max and nursing his bitterness over a gin and tonic. Fondly, SG
Q. My mother is desperately needing a makeover!!!!! Leaane/New Zealand
A. I looked at the picture you sent us and yes, I could not agree more. Being that you hail from New Zealand, it is a pity that Peter Jackson is no longer in need of extras to play Orcs. I would strongly suggest she check into Jackson's next effort, a remake of King Kong. There is always a need for scary looking people in the entertainment industry. Cheers, The Scottish Geisha
Q. How are you doing? I would like to nominate (name deleted for purposes of staying in the family will) for your show. Her wardrobe is horrible she still clothes dated back to 1989 and very terrible sense of fashion. I think that if she had help that she has the potential to be stunning. She has three children that she tries to put in the best clothes, but when it come to her she still has a Houston Rockets Champion shirt that she wears faithfully. Please Help!!!! Signed, Bright Baby
A. Dearest Bright,
I am doing quite well, thank you for asking. You aren't very, are you? Bright that is. If your mum really is still wearing clothes dating back to 1989 then I strongly suggest you wait this fashion fiasco out. Even tacky fads come back in style now and again. She should be stylish again, oh, around 2025. Salutations, TSG
Q. My friend needs a new wardrobe, please help. Regards, Christy
A. Dear Christy,
Again, saw the image. Your friend really IS in dire need, isn't she? Here's a notion, did any of you idiots actually try contacting the actual, well, show? WhatNottoWear Just a bloody thought... Getting Annoyed, SG
Q. I am interested in the people you use on the show that do the hair/makeup makeovers.
Can you send me some names??? Thank you, Georgia
A. Greetings Georgia,
Yes, we certainly can send you some names. We know them all of course, but we won't send them to you. Just because. Get Over It, The Scottish Geisha
Q. On your episode which aired Sat. Nov.30 - with "Laura" - she was told not to wear
granny underwear to prevent lines - what do you suggest and please don\'t say a thong??? Thanks, D From Canada
A. Dear D,
The fact that your email comes from Canada tells me everything I need to know. Why would I suggest a Canadian wear a thong? Impossible. It would freeze before you got it over your ankles. However, tap panties, the little shorty-short undies becoming so popular, present a fine alternative. Just be sure and choose a pair in lace so that there will be no lines. Extra bonus: tap panties have a lower freezing point I'm told. At last a decent question, The SG
Q. I would like to know how to register someone for your show. Grateful, Danielle
A. Dear (sigh) Danielle,
Would you please learn how to read? We are a HUMOR site, not a cable television show. Alternately, try the link listed above. Honestly, you people. Thoroughly Fed Up, SG