Smash The Remote
So Little On The Boob Tube is Even Worth Trashing These Days...
Movie Review: Van Helsing
Editor's Note: Not all fun flicks are adored by the critics and Van Helsing proves it.
No doubt about it, critics hate it when classic literature gets recycled in the cinema and, God forbid, changed in any way.
But you have to love Van Helsing. An admitted mish mash of horror character legends, stories and plots, Van Helsing somehow takes all the creepiness of Dracula, Frankenstein's monster nd The Wolfman and makes it work. For two breathless hours, give or take a few jumps and screams, viewers never get a break from the non-stop action of thrills, scares, special effects and plot twists that keep you guessing (unless you really know your Bible) until the very end. Even then, there are a few tears and surprises as the credits ready to roll.
Written and directed by Stephen Sommers, that wild and crazy guy who bought us The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, this ensemble cast takes on Hollywood's monster legends with relish and just enough drop dead humor to make it all work. Hugh Jackman is a swashbuckling hero, the monster killer in a Stetson and black leather duster who has more high tech weapons at his disposal than James Bond and enough swagger for the likes of bodice heaving Kate Beckinsale. The actors who took on the legendary roles of Dracula (Richard Roxburgh), Frankenstein's monster (Shuler Hensley) and The Wolfman (Will Kemp) are to be commended. No movie critic is going to give them a fair break and yet they still took up the roles with dedication to both the legends and their craft anyway. And let's face it, Dracula is impossible, been there, done that, bit everyone yet Richard Roxburgh does a devious job of it anyway, mastering both the anguish and accent of the doomed, immortal blood drinker. Shuler Hensley manages to make the monster of Frankenstein both intelligent and heartbreaking, you root for him before you know how heroic he actually is. Kudos also go to the three brides of Dracula; played viciously by Elena Anaya, Silvia Colloca and Josie Maran who spend much time flying around for human snacks, hanging upside down and generally having a grand time scaring the hell out of everyone. Note to future directors: Audiences really DO freak out when victims tiptoe around dark rooms and suddenly turn out to find vampires hanging upside down in their faces. That trick never fails to incite terror.
The supporting actors are no less up to the task as Kevin J. O'Connor, one of the most underrated character actors in Hollywood, takes on repulsive Igor with relish while the once hunky David Wenham (Faramir from the Lord of The Rings trilogy) all but steals the film with his bumbling, goofy persona of a brilliant but nerdy Friar Carl sent to help Van Helsing thwart the bad guys. Ringers will be shocked at the transformation; the brooding studly hero with a sword is all but gone; replaced by a hunched up scuttling nerd; the kind of guy who got beat up on the playground in grammar school. Somehow Wenham makes you believe it though, with his silly bowl cut hair and bumbling ways. Trivial pursuit cliff notes for Harry Potter fans, Robbie Coltrane (that's Hagrid to you Muggles) provides the voice talent for Mr. Hyde.
And finally, a node to Sommers inspiring scene work; the masked ball was utterly inspired, as were many of BOO! in your face scare scenes brought to you by Dracula's luscious brides. Though sometimes, the most simple of moments can be the most impactful. Watch for Dracula's brief but stunningly revealing commentary when he first meets Van Helsing. A simple clap of his hands says so much. Elegant and evil, Roxburgh gets it right. Can you hear your heart beating faster now? Thump, thump, thump, thump....
Despite the fun aspects of this high tech thriller, however, this is no movie for the pee-wee set and responsible parents are urged to get baby sitters so adults can enjoy the cinematic ride without being interrupted by moms and dads scurrying terrified tots out of the theatre. Not fun for anyone and it happens with more frequency with each passing movie. Save the outing for junior when Harry Potter's latest installment comes out in June, won't you? Dracula, Wolfman and Frankenstein's monster are a bit over the top, and to be savored for the more adult thrills they provide.
Copyright© 2003. All rights reserved.