That The Scottish Geisha's return coincided so perfectly with the Shark's roll out of the 2003-2004 season schedule was no small coincidence. While working on a game coverage plan for the season we contacted Deep Fin and inadvertently discovered that The Scottish Geisha's adored Surly The Ice Hobbit, aka, Defenseman # 22 Scott Hannan, had what can only be termed as a perfectly wonderful summer.

Surly, we hate your guts.

Surly, we discovered, was recently allegedly seen at a concert in the company of not one or two but four, yes FOUR nubile young women, all of whom, were reportedly his date for the evening. Four. In one evening. All of them. Girls. His date.

"God," sobbed Yacine. "Life is so unfair."

"I think there's no God," remarked Slither as he shut his eyes from The Pain Of It All.

Oh yes, there's a God alright. There's a God and he's chosen to take up full time residence in Surly's love life and leave ours in the dust of scary women in dire need of Prozac.

Because pain is meant to be shared, we decided to inform The Scottish Geisha of this rumor. Just to spoil her day and ostensibly to mar her distorted belief that Surly is the perfect little hobbity gentleman.

"Surly," we announced with dramatic relish, "Was recently spotted at some concert with four girls. All of whom were his date for the evening," we said, adding, "If you don't believe us, ask Deep Fin."

The Scottish Geisha fluttered her sable lashes. "Thank goodness," she remarked.

HUH???

"And there I was," she explained to none of us in particular. "Worried that Surly might show up at training camp somewhat....deconditioned."

We went mute.

"Now that I have received such good news, I am convinced that Surly will report to training camp with his cardio vascular endurance...intact," she added. "Isn't that just the sweetest news ever?"

Oh yes, sweet. Nice. The best thing we've heard since she informed us hang-overs cannot last a week.

We hate The Scottish Geisha.

And we aren't too happy with Surly right now either.

Life really can be unfair, we all agreed.

"That is because you all aren't Surly," The Scottish Geisha said as if that explained everything.

Hey, for every date night from here until we croak we shall forever be reminded that we all aren't Surly, ok?

"So," asked The Scottish Geisha, "Anything worth my attention occur while I was gone?"