Ben and J Lo: The Little PR Machine That Could
Editors Note: In praise of the insanity that the public will swallow, we have to hand it to the PR machine of Ben and J Lo....
TheWeeklyChuckle Following one of the decade's biggest cinematic bombs, Ben and J Lo started having problems. As in Ben preferred strippers to being the latest boy accessory to J Lo's wardrobe/latest look.
We really don't blame him. Hot as she is, her ambition seems to outmatch her relationship commitment by a long shot.
So, Ben took, as foolish men will do, to wild nights on the town and strippers.
And the pr machine and the talent agencies and the agents themselves all started getting all sweaty and nervous because before their very eyes, they could see that hefty percentage/cut of the action, going straight out the window like J Lo's last husband. There goes rehab at the Betty Ford clinic for junior, they all thought. And forget being able to afford that ex porn queen turned actress I've been boinking on the side.
Don't fool yourself, stupidity costs.
So, like the Mickey Rooney/Judy Garland movies of old, some enterprising (or desperate) soul jumped up and exclaimed, "Hey kids! Let's put on a show!"
And the show this time was the rapid but well-timed exiting of first, the wedding, second, the relationship of Ben and J Lo.
Don't fool yourself. Bankability in Hollywood is the difference between inking a multi million dollar deal with a percent of the ticket sales and action figures at Burger King and getting second billing and a nice mention from the director who hates you but snagged the Oscar. So while everyone behind the scenes was busy negotiating the next big movie/make-up/linens/line of pully toy cars for J Lo and Ben, everyone was told the wedding was going on as planned.
Until, invariably, it wasn't of course.
Followed by the world's quickest break-up.
Dutifully reported by People (we will believe and print anything) Magazine, the world's most bankable couple was suddenly no more. And everyone who lives for prime time tv and grocery store rags was shocked and saddened. The only people that were not, of course, were the army of agents, and pr pukes and toadies who are paid an appalling amount of money to keep these kind of illusions alive to a public that hasn't learned a thing since women swooned over a very gay Rudolf Valentino and a less than straight James Dean.
The best news in all this is, of course, that Ben and J Lo are finally so yesterday and now Barbara Walters has room in her next special to interview the media's next IT couple who will in turn, pull the very same wool over the very same gullible public's collective eye.
But hey, at least junior will get to Betty Ford and that ex-porn queen-mistress will be well cared for. And a good thing too.
We were about to start becoming downright cynical.
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