Fun Ideas for Discouraging Telemarketers
Editors Note: Appropriate responses to telemarketers:
TheWeeklyChuckle "Hello? No, the lady of the house isn't here. No, the man of the house isn't either. I'm the hermaphrodite maid, can I be of assistance?"
"Santa Clara home for the mentally bewildered, may I help you?"
"Hello, if this is my ex husband's slut girlfriend posing as a telemarketer again, I am warning you I have caller ID and I will hunt you down for the rest of your life."
"Hello? Is this my probation officer again? I can explain.."
"Hello? Mark? Is that you Mark? Because if this is really you Mark I want to apologize about the kitchen knife thing..."
"Hello? Mark? Mark is that you? Because if this is really you Mark, I want to talk to you about that restraining order you had me served with, ok?"
"Hello? Mark? Mark is that you? Because if this is really you Mark, we need to talk about Mark Junior. I know what the DNA test results said honey but in my heart Mark Junior is really yours...."
"Hello? Is this the people from the Jerry Springer show? Did I get on? Did I? Did I? Momma! It's them folks from the Jerry Springer show!"
"Hello, Jones residence. No, the Jones aren't home now and never will be now that you have called. Leave you name, phone number and bank account number at the beep. Thank you."
"Hello. Yes, this is Larry Johnson...are you naked?" (works equally well to repel both male and female telemarketers)
"Hell? --O? I can't 'EAR you! Are you a ell hone?"
"Honey! I'm in a hurry, listen up! Thanks for calling me back so quick. Look, I am going to need you to pick up more of those super sized tampons and some lubra...hello? Hello?"
"Hello? Dr. Messing? Is that you? You aren't really going to dump me like my last therapist are you? Because that one would call and pretend to be a telemarketer and...hello?
"Hello? Mark? Mark is that you? Because if this is really you Mark, I have some really bad news for you about us. Hello? Mark? Mark is that you? Because if this is really you Mark, I have some really bad news for you about us. Hello? Mark? Mark is that you? Because if this is really you Mark, I..."
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