Count Down To ROTK
Editors Note: Never mind war, famine and terrorism ...Tolkien fans the world over are anxiously counting down the hours until ROTK hits the theatres. Can you spell OBSESSION????.......
TheWeeklyChuckle
More journal installments!! Scroll down to find out how our obsessed ringer coped with his final countdown.....
ROTK Journal, Day 25 of 'The Situation':
Called in sick today, too morose to work. Can't believe I have to wait another 25 days until ROTK comes out.
ROTK Journal, Day 24 of 'The Situation':
Stupid boss, left him another message about being sick. Note to self: talk to counselor about this issue. After all, nobody in Middle Earth has to punch a time clock.
ROTK Journal, Day 23 of 'The Situation':
Parents need to stop calling me about trivial things like work, school and rent. Have been very busy memorizing entire new scenes on extended version of DVD. Was on line for about 18 hours today arguing with Ely101. Stupid Elfy. Thinks he (she?) knows more about Peter Jackson and the trilogy than I do. Wait until that idiot finds out I have learned not just all the dialogue from new scenes but entire rambling commentary from Peter, Phillippa and Fran. Somebody has to do it.
ROTK Journal, Day 22 of 'The Situation':
Cannot STAND the wait any longer. Stupid movie house hung up on me when I called to check on the status of my ticket! It was only the 20th or so time. I was just being cautious after all. Some people just don't understand. Boss keeps calling, I wonder what he wants. I've been busy after all.
ROTK Journal, Day 21of 'The Situation':
Is it possible to wear out a DVD? Elfy101 says I need to get a life and stop watching FOTR and TTT but what does she (he?) know anyway? To mollify family members who claim I am obsessed, have laid off the DVD's and taken to re-reading the entire trilogy. Cried again when I got to The Battle of Helm's Deep but who doesn't?
ROTK Journal, Day 20 of 'The Situation':
Parents really need to get lives of their own. They actually had the nerve to come over and lecture me about responsibility. Really. Was too preoccupied with the Siege of Gondor to even deal with them. How is Jackson going to handle the Paths of The Dead? I mean honestly, as if I didn't have enough to occupy my days. If I could pack them off to the Gray Havens I'd do it in a second but who wants their parents to be granted immortality? I sure don't, especially after they took away my allowance and everything. How am I going to afford to bid on the New Line Cinema site for all the ROTK props now? God, but my family can be so selfish.
ROTK Journal, Day 19 of 'The Situation':
Thankfully, phone has been disconnected for some reason. At least I can now get on with my life without interference from family drones. Have been working, non-stop, on animated gifs of Orc images. Borrowed bucks from neighbor to keep electricity going so I can keep laptop humming. Neighbor is ok, likes Harry Potter and Star Trek but we all can't be enlightened now can we.
ROTK Journal, Day 17 of 'The Situation':
Elfy101 such an idiot. Didn't like my animated gifs of Orcs. Jealous is what I think. Seems to think that Orcs are not true to original Tolkien image of Orcs but rather each WETA's and Peter Jackson's view. Stupid Elfy 101. Am posting horrid comments in LOTR chat rooms about Elfy 101 as we speak. I certainly deserve more kudos than this. Must keep busy until Dec. 1th at 12:01 a.m. Cannot wait. Must keep busy....
ROTK Journal, Day 16 of 'The Situation':
Can't eat, can't sleep, can't cope. Elfy101 has started an on-line war of sorts, lining up all sorts of Ringers against me. Now I'll never get in the Ringer documentary. Am so, so upset.
In other news, parent may have died or something. Didn't answer door when landlord came calling. Have way too much to do as it is. Can't these people get along without me for five minutes?
ROTK Journal, Day 15 of 'The Situation':
HA. Got Elfy101 but good. Sent naughty emails to all fellowship actors web sites in Elfy101's name. That ought to teach him (her?). Did have to answer some FBI gentleman's questions but I think he believed me. Especially after I showed him my authorized Orc helmet from the New Line Cinema auction. Spent entire inheritance from Grandmother on that beauty I told him. For some reason, he left rather quickly.
Probably just Gollum green with envy! Hahahahhaha!
ROTK Journal, Day 14 of 'The Situation':
Drat. As if I am not having enough trouble waiting for Dec. 17th without all these bothersome distractions. Now parents have found a way to get into my flat. All totally illegal of course, I don't care who is paying up back rent. There was some talk about medication and visiting some doctor but I have no clue what they were talking about as just found a link to a site that will broadcast ROTK premiere party in New Zealand! And there I was having to content myself with visuals from the travel center proper.
ROTK Journal, Day 13 of 'The Situation':
Finding self dreaming almost exclusively about Frodo these days. And the ring of course. People think that they ring is just a myth, a story fabricated by Tolkien but I was thinking...what if he was trying to tell us something? Something real??? I mean, history is chock full of cover-ups, isn't it? Think Watergate and you will know what I mean. Look, all I am saying is that Middle Earth could actually be a real place after all.
Cannot stop thinking about Dec. 17th and ROTK.
ROTK Journal, Day 12 of 'The Situation':
Beginning to understand poor Gollum and his preoccupation with the ring. After all, if the ring were real, it would be a source of tremendous power, right? Right? And somebody, not saying ME, but there are others less worthy, should probably keep it. Just for safe keeping of course. Would never use The One Ring personally of course.
Unless it were absolutely necessary, of course. Like to slip past bothersome parents and family members.
Bilbo had the right idea after all.
ROTK Journal, Day 11 of 'The Situation':
Bored, bored, bored. Have aced all 1,467 Tolkien trivia games I found on line today. Need to refresh myself and ready for the home stretch, the final ten day countdown to ROTK. Wonder if Tolkien, long ago departed to The Gray Havens no doubt, knows that the world is awaiting the final installment with such anticipation and JOY.
In other news, parents have hired a lawyer for some reason. Some dribble about power of attorney.
ROTK Journal, Day 10 of 'The Situation':
Have had to temporarily relocate to cousin's sofa couch. Not sure he believes me about my parents but at least he is gone most of the time (working or some such nonsense) so I can get on his computer and continue my mission. How else can I continue to debate the merits of the battle of the Pellenor Fields? Think I must have Elvin blood in me or else how would I be able to stay up for days on end in Tolkien chat rooms?
And parents said I was going mad. Stupid parents.
ROTK Journal, Day 9 of 'The Situation':
Cousin seems to be acting strangely. I suggested he look into smoking some Shire pipeweed and drinking Ent draught (cousin is also V, short, did I mention that yet?), anyway, cousin hasn't been home since. Good thing too, have too much to do with emailing all ringers worldwide and urging them to boycott any and everything Elfy101 says. Stupid Elfy. I have tickets to ROTK, got them weeks ago but Elfy claims to be going to the premiere in NZ! SUCH a liar, Elfy.
ROTK Journal, Day 8 of 'The Situation':
Trying to find a way to convince cousin to lend me a couple of grand to fly to NZ so I can see ROTK a full 24 hours before a lot of Ringers can. Turns out cousin is a MAJOR tight wad, however. Who knew? Maybe he knows something about NZ being the secret gateway to Middle Earth??
Would so not put it past him.
ROTK Journal, Day 7 of 'The Situation':
Uh oh. Trouble begins big time. Cousin ratted me out to idiot parents and had to flee. Honestly, would think that borrowing a credit card or two wouldn't be such a big deal. Parents have no sense of vision. Sad, really. Tried to explain but they kept trying to get me to go for a ride with them. Where? Nobody would tell me.
Have no time for this nonsense, only a week to go? Must plan Elvin wardrobe for big premiere....Elfy101 will be SO jealous.
ROTK Journal, Day 6 of 'The Situation':
Have had to barricade self back in flat until ready to leave for NZ. Parents have set landlord back on me and just when I think I figured out how Peter Jackson and crew did the Shelob computer graphics!!
Note to self, once ROTK has been committed, all three plus hours, to memory, simply must speak with Jackson about remaking The Hobbit. Have some ground-breaking ideas for generating Smaug The Dragon..
ROTK Journal, Day 5 of 'The Situation':
Am packed and ready to go. Now just have to find a way to sneak past crowd that, for some reason, continues to grow outside of my flat door.
Honestly, don't these people know that I am secretly a descendent of The Numenoirean Kings?
ROTK Journal, Day 4 of 'The Situation':
Emailed so-called family and told them would be leaving so not to bother me any more. Would be that I had my sword and was at Aragorn, Son of Arathorn's side, battling in the Siege of Gondor. Would battle my way out the door, I would. Run through that Orc of a landlord I would.
ROTK Journal, Day 3 of 'The Situation':
Had to climb out window! Me! A ranger of The North and everything! Bet Aragorn had to climb out a few windows in his day too however. Am casually waiting at airport, using internet cafe to keep up with journal before boarding plane for Middle Earth and back to my destiny.
Think that perhaps I, of all people, could take the One Ring and keep it safe.
ROTK Journal, Day 2 of 'The Situation':
Must deal, as many Middle Earth heroes do, with misunderstandings. Police, doctors and family just doesn't seem to understand that I simply must get on that plane and cannot be dealing with such trivial matters as being accosted at airport and dragged off. Thinking of Elron's wife and her torment by the Orcs at this moment. Must concentrate on way to get out of this dungeon.
ROTK Journal, Day 1 of 'The Situation':
Have been moved to nice clean room today. The medication makes me a bit fuzzy but try to gather my strength so as to communicate urgency of the situation. Simply must get out of this straight jacket and through barred windows and out to freedom and on to Middle Earth.
Meanwhile, am forced to wait for Elvin calvary. Sure they will come. Once the orcs are vanished of course. Understand that the survival of Middle Earth must come first. After all, have always been a team player that way.
Wonder if Gollum fell into the fires of Mount Doom yet or if Ring survives? Ring must still be around or would have felt it's power leave Middle Earth for good. Yes, that's it, ring is still among us.
Need the ring in order to escape. Must have the ring, must have the precious. Must have the precious...
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