What Not To Wear:
Editors Note: More than a television cable show, a blessed public service...
TheWeeklyChuckle A great new show on TLC can make you run and hide from your own wardrobe. It's called What Not To Wear. Basically the premise of the show is that your friends and family cannot take it anymore and they nominate you to be on the show. Once you are accepted two fashion stylists, a cool, hip female and a glaringly effimate homosexual, rifle through your wardrobe and freak out at everything you ever bought and put on your back. The dymnaimc duo then give you lessons on what you should actually wear, shouldn't wear and eventually, give you five grand and let you loose on the streets of New York City. Invaritably, you slip back into your old hideous personal taste habits. So the team has to rush into the store to 'save' you from yourself. The only flaw in the premise of the show is how they will sometimes tell a boldface lie. Last week a middle aged woman dressing like a slutty 13 year old and sporting huge, manly arms, saddlebag thighs and a pronounced belly was told, straight faced, by one of the stylists, "You have an amazing body." We swear. Luckily, they took away all her spangled microminis, tube tops and tacky garb and covered up her flaws with stylish, tasteful clothing.
These people perform a much needed public service folks.
We at TheLastLaugh would like these angels of fashion mercy to perform styling miracles on the following celebrities:
Pamela Sue Anderson: All those boobs and nothing but Tommy and I made a porn video leather to wear
Cher: Still Mackie (as in Bob) after all these years.
Christina Aguilera: So young, so slutty, so not in vouge
Demi Moore: So 40, so insecure, so needing a make-over that doesn't include 25 year old boy toy accessorizing
Anna Nicole Smith: Brings new meaning to the word 'pig' which is normally reserved for men.
Kelly Osborne: Obviously not taking a page from mummy Sharon's tastefully posh duds.
There are plenty more, of course, but that will give those poor sytlists enough work to keep them busy for the next decade. Plus, they probably won't have to lie too much because most celebs actually do have decent figures.
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